Screen Shot 2017-11-28 at 9.25.44 PMAbout a year ago, I wrote about Awareness and Action, That they are vastly different things. One is the actual act of something, the other is passive, and involves doing nothing. That’s right, nada, Zilch. Zero things are done. Bupkis. So in the dying hours of this Giving Tuesday, I want to remind people of just that. We should act and give, not just today, because we have been sold on a “gimmick”, but because we want to. Often even every day. It can be big or small. It also doesn’t have to be money, it can be time or a good deed. We have gotten too used to throwing awareness around, that nothing really happens. Lots and lots of inaction.

So why do we need a reminder?! Goodness and giving should be a no brainer, right?!

Is it that we get so wrapped up in our own drama, that we don’t see, or make time? AreScreen Shot 2017-11-28 at 9.26.08 PM we keeping score? If we are, then we shouldn’t, because life owes us nothing.

So I’m reminding you, Awareness is great, be aware, but also act.

I’m leaving this here, because I have to.

Be kind. Be good. Be present. Be generous. Give. Be well.

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Organizations I love.

Lung Cancer Canada

Young Adult Cancer Canada

First Descents

Save Me Dog Rescue

Surrogacy and the blues

Maybe it because my mood is like the weather today…fog clouds my mind and clouds fog my heart, while tears are on the verge of falling at any minute.

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Maybe it’s because I’m depressed…I’m switching my meds and on a clean out.

Maybe it just because I hate hearing people be flippant about something that is tragic and a privilege and someone like me and many others out there just can’t do.

I happened to be napping, and e-talk came on (usually I flip the channel) but I was half asleep until I heard the “news that Kim Kardashian is encountering fertility problems.” First, let me say I don’t know Kim or her health issues, and I normally would never judge anyone’s choices in whether or not they are or are not pursuing any or all health care options, but this bothered me. If her problems are real and not just fodder for a TV show, then I really feel badly for her, because I know what its like to have fertility issues and what its like to be told that you can’t or shouldn’t have a child.

Screen Shot 2017-04-04 at 8.31.40 PMIt feels like a part of you had been ripped from you. It feels like you have to bury the most natural instinct you have. It makes you question your identity. It brings you to tears at the sight of children. You tell your brain that its better to not have any, and suppress the wonder of what it might have been like to parent. It feels even worse, but I honestly don’t have the right words to describe the feeling. So if it’s real, I get it.

The problem I have is the “I’ll just get a surrogate” solution. Because it’s so easy.Screen Shot 2017-04-04 at 8.21.04 PM

Maybe for her it is. Well good for you!

For many of us, it’s not an option, at least a viable one. For one, it is incredibly difficult to find someone to do that for you. Think of the sacrifice! I mean they are going to carry a child for nine months and then just give it a way. It would take a very special human to do that for you.

Maybe you get really lucky and you can find a family member or even a complete stranger, the legalities of such a transaction are not so simple. So when someone just throws surrogacy out there as a solution or alternative to pregnancy for whatever reason, they either come from great privilege or great ignorance.

I know people who have had children through a surrogate, when it happens, it is a true gift and miracle in and of itself. These people have traversed the ups and downs and craziness of pregnancy to help families these families who otherwise could not have a child. They weren’t a quick fix that could be fixed with some money thrown at it. They were friends who knew how hard and how much these couples wanted a child. They knew these women couldn’t bear a child naturally because of previous cancer treatments, or those that were ongoing. They did it out of love. They were willing to sacrifice themselves, their own health, time and bond they had with that baby. Like I said, it takes a special person. Not everyone finds their angel.

Anyway I don’t want to ramble, but if you are like me, or if you are looking for help with fertility, I’ll post a few good links and call it a night.


My Oncofertility.org – A patient education resource provided by the Oncofertility Consortium

Fertile Future – Fertile Future is a Canadian national non-profit organization that provides fertility preservation information and support services to cancer patients and oncology professionals.

LIVESTRONG – LIVESTRONG Fertility is dedicated to providing reproductive information, resources and financial support to survivors whose cancer and its treatment present risks to their fertility.

Acting on Awareness

Fall is coming

There’s a crispness to the air that signals Summer’s end. Days are getting shorter and the season of awareness is upon us.

I’m tired of awareness. I mean great, we are aware. So what! I’ve learned that being aware of something doesn’t mean one will act. Now there’s where change happens whether it’s research, funding for research, support locally/provincially or federally for programs, better diagnostics, less invasive procedures, whatever, change takes action!

I think it’s safe to say we are all aware cancer exists, and depending on what day or week or month it is which one or ones we are supposed to be aware of or we’d be living under a rock. But what of it? Are we actually doing something about it? Do we call a local cancer center to volunteer? Do we check on our neighbour who’s I’ll? Do we sacrifice our precious time for a cause that has touched us? Or are we simply aware that something exists?!
Action doesn’t require a lot. We can do in small ways. After all, the only way to eat a cake (mmm cake) is one bite at a time. So why is it that acting is so hard?

Often I think people shy away from action because they think it will take too much time. Or they thing that the problem is too big and that one small act of kindness won’t really make a difference. They are wrong.

How long does it take to say hello? How long does it take cook a meal? How long does it take to check in on a friend?

Oh look you have acted.
Change happens with small acts. Before you know it drops in a bucket turn into floods of action.

Ways you can act*

  • Yard work/house work for friends/neighbors
  • Driving friends/family/neighbors to appointments/to get groceries/whatever
  • Babysitting/ driving kids to school/sports/daycare
  • Volunteering
  • Lobbying for change
  • Donation money/goods/time
  • Being supportive by listening and being a friend

*These don’t have to be cancer related either.

So in this season of awareness, act!

If you really can’t act and want to use your wallet (also good) try to support causes/organizations who use a majority of their funds to actually do what they say. So many big organizations (I won’t mention names) have a great warm and fuzzy cause and are very visible but use a lot of their funds to cover their over head costs which means those they are there to serve don’t see a lot of those donations. Sometimes small causes/organizations can and will do more. Sure you have to look for them but if you really want to make a change sometimes small and grassroots is where to go. You can if you are savvy see where the money goes.